picadilly

ativan.

eden

smoke alarms and 2am rain -
it's almost halloween again.
ghosts settle in streets, and feel like they fit in.
invisibility of sins.

smile for the camera, baby.
you're about to win.

automatic

cheap wine and 24/7 liqueur stores will be the downfall of this generation.
or maybe just my integrity.

i did it again last night.
fuck. fuck. damn.

get the doctor on the phone -
this girl is scared of being alone.

elle

cynical. hipbones. sarcastic. insomnia. bass guitar. coffee. sunflowers. irish. vegetarian. yellow. untrusting. emotionally bankrupt. signatures. insecure. eyeliner. paper and ink. "fuck". lyrics. gin. diet coke. movies. anxiety. hands. photography. music. dresses. the morning after. 60's rock. raver. glow sticks. "win". chipped nail varnish. bruised. cheap wine. "knock knock, jokes". the magic roundabout.


"these insecurities will eat you up" she said.

"you need a danger sign on your forehead, to warn people not to get too close"

well, darling, that's what you get for falling again.

going home soon, where ever home is. sometimes i think it's leeds. sometimes manchester. mostly it's on a plane into the middle of no where.
ever get that feeling when you just want to shut your eyes, jump on a bus, and let it take you far, far away?
some of us resist the urge every day.
just go. no one will miss you.

i've never been to london.
streets paved with dreams and all that fairytaleshit.
fuck your consumerism and late night premieres.
i want to be where no one is here.

autumn is my favourite month.
let's just collapse into piles of leaves, and pretend we're free.
don't be scared, pretty boy, come with me.

boo, you whore

my throat hurts.
sad face.

no thank you.

rolling tobacco with self-esteem.
hit it in your blood stream.
i'm tired of hiding secrets in my drawers -
emptying binbags of poor fitting belongings.
my skin's black and blue
so i use my diary to note every time i fall.
i lost count.
i gave up on you.

don't cry, donnie
it'll all make sense eventually.
growing up, growing up, going down.

keeping a calender in your pocket, so you'll always know when you are

the boys in the first flat makes their mark in eggs and a fast pace.
run rabbit run rabbit run rabbit run.
leap from the ship before it sinks -
grab recovery with both hands.

is it alright if i don't want you back?
i'm drawn to the boys with bad words, but light in their eyes.
eric clapton told me that i'd find the right palm in the sunshine city -
well this town raised me in the rain, but i'm going to be okay.

goodnight, pussycat.
sleep tight.

you don't need to pray tonight.

roleplay

lightening on thunder. rainclouds over sunshine cities. superior and spectacular. i call shotgun on heaven or the highway - whichever comes first. dodging bruised bullets has become a habit. sit back or hit back. fred astaire. i'm the golden ticket but you just missed it. contrusions on collarbones as she shudders beneath his weight. it started as a mistake and finished as a heartbreak. tonight she's six vodka shots into the moment. bang. she collapsed behind bathroom doors on tiled floors. hold back her hair as she throws up all shreads of dignity and despair. we'll never reach tomorrow 'cause you lost me at the first goodbye. and the sixth. this isn't any bird/love song. two rights make this dance too long. the blood dries faster than the ink. the latter makes a deeper impression, vomitting courage into kitchen sinks. break a dream. sleepwalk through history. the exits are sealed with regrets and misery. there's no going back. he screams for you. she saves her screams for someone else's mattress. what a perfect caricature of love and lust. god cried for my lack of faith. he cried for the smiles and scars that are out of place.

the mime waits for silent applause. feet in open doors. nothing is enough any more.

these heartbeats are one of a kind.

the best of us

i'm the queen of good intentions,
that procrastinating facist.
you think you know where this all ends?
jesus said the same thing to his friends -
look where his time let up.
33.
everything we do is for the joy of the reaction.
chain satisfaction.
don't tell me you planned this - i guessed it was all part of the surprise for both of us.

your skeleton fell with the stars and shattered.
what a catch.

true facts

everybody.
knows.
what.
we.
know.

food for thought

"To the world you are one.
But to one you are the world."

the walls are tumbling down

around your feet.
home ain't so sweet.
just give me a b-b-break.

not a chance, play your best hand

i'm not good for anyone -
especially not for you.
we write our best lines when we're drunk or high.
pop a pill, or a lover.
i am here.

i don't really care where this is going
or what she said before.
i've got high hopes and lost dreams like no other.
could you want any more?

lost our dignity behind a dumpster.
other people's waste is someone else's treasure.

i forgot how to sing the high notes, so i talk in chords.

you tattooed her name on your middle finger
so you'd never forget to flip her off.
find your own, find your own way, find your own way back home.

my love is vengeance, that's never free

i told another lie today.
i breathe them. they sit, thick and heavy in the air.
the priest in the pews is choking on the news -
attention, attention.
there is no god.
or he doesn't like talking anymore.
words are wasted.

i'm waiting for that special person.
the one who'll hold my hand, and just sit.

let's watch rainbows dance.

...

no.

haven't you heard?

Je ne comprends pas, mon chéri.
nous sommes les aveugles et les sourds enfants. que l'audition et de voir ce qui est dans nos têtes.
Je ne peux pas vous aime encore.
mais cela ne fait rien.
c'est tout bien.

J'ai vu que vous touchez l'or et de le transformer en poussière.
les contes de fées jusqu'à renversé. inversée.
J'aime à croire que le coucher du soleil dans ma ville me manque.
mais ça va.
c'est tout bien.

Parlez-en à votre papa vous ne pourrez pas être à la maison ce soir.
il ya seulement tant de tort que vous pouvez travailler à la manière de faire droit.

but, baby, that's okay.
we'll all be okay.
some day.

starvation instincts

the world has been spinning slowly for a while.
it's nice to feel involved again.
see also: pleasant. pleasing. dull.

why is it we get off on our minds being flipped upside down?

i like to take the time to smell the flowers.
we've all got super powers. some of us just don't quite know it yet.

we can't save the world until we know how to save ourselves.