i think i forgot you before i'd even met you

i've been away. yet i never even left.
my head feels separate from my neck. like i haven't lost my mind -
i just haven't found it yet.
we're buzzing through clouds and walls. birds and ghosts.
i want to be free but i'm desperate for someone to keep my feet on the ground.
i'm in between places right now.

i'm too rough for love.
i'll push you away before we even touch.

i collect good things to destroy.
amorality makes the best noise.

sod it.