expostulations at 3am

i'm a borderline personality - somewhere between the person i am
and the one i try to be.
maybe she's more than hair dye and kohl eyes -
maybe these are just masks to hide behind.
if you could choose one person just to sit by and watch them smile, who would it be?
if there was no tomorrow, whose hand would you hold to the ends of today?
hypotheses of yesterdays. front page news, jazz house blues.
poetry scratched into the undersides of fast-food joint tables.

waking up in early hours clutching pavements.
holding on for your life only to realise there was never any chance of falling.
follow this path, it's he only one you have -
until you make a detour to the wrong side of town and send all those predestined plans to hell.
the tables turn an catch him off guard. everything he touches is golden -
and at the same time, nothing is.

sit down, gather round, and i'll tell you a tale better than you're life could ever be.
involving everything you'll never acheive.
the problem is: these cliches lack originality.
and that's half the fun.
learn some responsibilty -
better yet, escape to neverland.


happy hallow'een.
scare someone senseless.

i bought my heart on ebay...

but it was in a pretty shitty condition, so i sent it back.
been watching the Matrix. that film is all shades of amazing.
"i know kung fu!"
i wish i did. insecurities don't matter when you can kick ass.
i'm a constant updater in the vague archieves.
i never say what i mean, but i mean what i say.
down that drink and repeat it until it makes sense.

i want some peanut butter out of the jar on a spoon.

this isn't a break-out, it's a take-over

if i just wanted to sit and talk, would you be happy to just sit and listen?
i'd pay your way with a smile or two, just for you.

if you knew i loved you, would you love me back?
together we could burn the world down and out.

if i gave you my heart, would you promise not to break it?
bearing in mind it's only held together by lies.
this is the brutally truthful.

i miss those days where nothing happens. where you could be anyone, and anything -
but by choice you're happy being you.
i'm not saying i could kiss it better,
but together we could give it a damn good try.

tour guides for wet dreams

what goes around comes around.
and sometimes they come screaming.
i want to feel your fingertips on my skin, so i know that you won't just brush through me -
i want you to prove to me i'm not as invisible as i feel.
so you want somebody to cure these lonely nights -
solitude is a way of life.
wild animal insticts of survival were sacrificed for the vainest of Romantic ideals.
heads and hearts in glass cases in art museums. decorated in all shades of emergency.
it's breaking me down watching the world going round without me.
can anybody hear me, because i just can't hear myself.
take a photo, it might last longer than i do.

hey euphony

hey pretty baby, this is all you ever wanted.
today i was reminded why i stayed away from your side of town.
this is who i really am. maybe. possibly.
okay, so i take that all back.
conversations of hello's and goodbye's don't really lead to anything, you know.
taking tips from sex addicts on how to get laid. on how to get your adrenalin fix in the only way
you can think of.
these are nothing but circles -
round here we're kings and queens of hearts.
close your eyes and fall off the earth.
fall off the map.
lose yourself to find a purpose.
no one deserves it, but to me you're imperfectly perfect.

she never asked for a saviour, you know.
she never expected a hero.
stop trying so hard to be her one and everything -
you're already there.
savour her taste. you don't know how lucky you are.

a toothbrush in every timezone

mirrors reflect thousands of photos.
mine reflects thousands of truths i'd rather keep hidden. dirty little secrets.
i'm a twisted goldilocks - sneaking around my own life like a criminal waiting to be caught.
i'm dorian grey, except my face is the painting, and it's twisting round every move i make. every breath i take.
i'm a skeleton structure of words and whispers of everything i've done and everything i haven't.
of course i'll take the blame, offload your sins onto my white shoulders, i can support the world.
believe everything you hear, it's always true.
stab in the cheek, kiss on the back.
tongues offering razorblade kisses and sure-fire misses.
every morning is spent yearning for every night. days blurr into years in the wink of an eye.

we're all just sharks and butterflies.
dangerous, but fragile.
vicious, but beautiful.

i'll rip out my heart and pin it to my sleeve
with a note that reads
"you mean oh-so-much to me".

i want to focus my eye on lovers and life - on success and ambition.
instead i'm blind to everything except beauty and aesthetics.
the vainest of Romantics.
i'd sell my soul for a second in the future, a polaroid that tells me this will all be worth it in the end.
a snap-shot of a true smile on a face i might just recognise from somewhere.
a mirror reflection that let's me know, someday, everything will be okay.

virginal call girls

some days i have so many thoughts and phrases and expressions and quotations and images that it's like a small nuclear war in my head.
each is just as powerful and dangerous and prominant, but it would only take one of them to take off, and i'd be a gonner.
boom.
devastation.

other days however...
other days i feel simple. but inexplicable.
unbelievable. but easily explained.
i don't have enough words to describe today.
and my limit has already been used up in my livejournal.
feel free to take a read... if you can find it.

all-in-one

i'm so sick even the air seems to be avoiding me for fear of infection.
it would explain why i'm finding it so hard to inhale lately.
i'm hot, i'm cold - and then i'm nothing at all.
i've got a fever and i'm burning down.
a candle with no flame, just smoke.

message for today: love gives you strength you never knew you had.


and sometimes it gives you the balls to use that strength in ways you never imagined.

imagine this...

speak

just for the record, the weather today is overly defensive and on the brink of denial.

mclovin

go see superbad.
now.

a glance from her, the whole city goes down

cracked rubies and dirt incased in diamonds.
perfect imperfection.
echo games in glass houses - the mirrors warp faces and names into people we pretend to know.
"simon says, do something incredible today"
heroes don't die. at least not on the front page of the new york times.
page three girls making fame infamous.
government dogs and ally cats.
fighting blind men with pictures of sunlight in prisms.
so hard, so hard to smile.
morning-after eyeliner and mascara tears.
rivers marking histories of seventeen years.
i learnt about life in text books - black and white.
seeing crimson in bathtubs. writing lines in skin and minds.
she forgot to breathe, that'll teach her to die for the attention.
suicide chic.

peaceandfuckinglove

i guess i never knew

i'm lost for words.
shell-shocked.

i...